How To Compliment A Woman

Whenever I compliment a beautiful girl, it doesn’t seem to have a very good effect on her.

It’s as if she already knows what I’m going to say before I say it. She already knows she’s pretty and she’s used to having everyone remind of her of it. It feels as if she takes the compliment and adds it to a long list of previous heard compliments. I suppose that’s why she’s a little full of herself which puts her on a pedestal far beyond my reach.

My question is, if I’m going to be creating rapport and seducing attractive women, should I be complimenting her or not?

How can I make her feel flattered and at the same time have a real impact on her? I don’t want her to feel as if I’m just another guy complimenting her.


Most writers on HowToSeduction will tell you that compliments should be used sparingly, like conversational spice.  An overload of them sounds unconvincing. Also, telling a beautiful woman that she is beautiful is fairly pointless. She’s been complimented on that aspect all her life. Try to find something else to compliment her on that isn’t physical.

For example, try telling her that she’s funny.  A lot of beautiful women never get complimented on that aspect of their personality.  Believe it or not, many of them crave being told that they are funny, clever or even witty.


I once met a very attractive woman which happened to be a fine dramatic actress.  I met her at a party and we talked a while about her acting career.  I asked her why she switched from comedy to drama and she replied that she was always drawn to trying to be funny and that people always wanted to hire her for her looks and not her sense of humor.

I was floored.  This attractive, Emmy-nominated, dramatic actress was desperate to show that she could be funny!  I also met her husband, that night.  I asked him what first drew him to her and he said: “She made me laugh.”   Think she’d have been as drawn to him if he had simply told her how pretty she was when they first met?

Compliment her taste in clothes, her sense of style.  Both of those come close to telling a woman she’s beautiful, but they stop just short. This is good.

I understand the urge to spew compliments like a lawn sprinkler.  I’m involved with someone now and sometimes it’s all I can do not to tell her that she is adorable.  But, I refrain.  I do tell her how she makes me laugh.  I tell her that she makes me think.  I tell her that talking to her is interesting and that she is a good conversationalist.

Even such compliments as those, I dole out cautiously.

Addition Comments:

You’re right, many men compliment beautiful women on being “pretty,” so one more from you is almost meaningless. Instead, try complimenting her on something specific that she won’t have heard before. “I love those earrings – where did you get them?” Many women, especially “beautiful” ones, work hard on their appearance – makeup, clothes, etc. are not thrown on in 5 minutes usually. To point out that you like some specific choice she made makes her feel good about it and makes her feel you are looking at her as more than just another piece of meat. Being sincere helps also. Don’t make up stuff you like about her that is not true.

Most hot women have been hit upon dozens if not hundreds of times by men, so conversation that starts/continues with “You’re a very beautiful woman!/you sure are gorgeous!” is more than likely going to set off alarm bells: “This is another pickup. Raise shields!” Everything else you say will have to get through that – not something you want. You need to disarm her first and seem different from all the
other slobs who want to get in her pants.

It’s my experience that some women will play it as though they’re uninterested, or that they talk to guys like you all the time (even if they don’t).

So sometimes they’re trying to downplay the impact of what you say or do, and sometimes they really have heard it all before.  I try not to say the same things, and make fresh conversations as often as possible.  Imagine hearing some woman say you’ve got “pretty eyes” 100 times a week.  It might
get a smile out of you the first few times, but it gets old the more you hear it.

I follow 2 rules regarding compliments.

#1 – Don’t sound like a game show host.  If you give too many compliments, they don’t work.

#2 – Look at her, listen to her.  Try to compliment on something she has gone out of her way to display for you.  For instance, if she’s wearing something unusual, compliment on it.  If she’s shoving her tits in your face, talk about them.

5 Responses

March 15, 2009

Oh, I think I’ve been doing it wrong…. uh oh

March 15, 2009

This is good advice, solid.

March 15, 2009

Keep up the good work! That’s exactly what guys should be reading. Don’t compliment a woman on her looks, and when you actually do compliment her, make sure it’s on something specific with meaning.

February 19, 2010
issahaku jomo habib

hello just wanted to say thanks for the tips and means of some of the challenges that we used to encounter. There is this Girl i have loved so much but she thats not seem to release it. how do i do to make her understand the fact that i love her for good. Thank you.

April 23, 2010

My girlfriend would show me some of the things she had written and I love all of it still today. I’d compliment her about her beautiful writing and even if she’d push away, she’d show me more and more of her words. [: